Tuesday, August 30, 2005

2005 Most Gorgeous Man in the World

Forwarded emails can be so much fun....

Hmm...I don't know if he really was voted most gorgeous man in the world, but who cares, right? I almost fell off my chair...he looks like NONE of the men I dated.


















And now, for the Pinoy version...ta-daa!!!

















This dude just sets the camera on fire!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Somebody tell me how this could have happened


The driver was female, but it WAS NOT me. Posted by Picasa

I'm in the mood for...

...breakup songs!

Categorically Imperative's favorite breakup songs (in no particular order):

The day you went away by Wendy Matthews There's not a cloud in the sky/ it's as blue as your goodbye/ and I hope that it would rain/ The day you went away

White flag by Dido I will go down with this ship/ And I won't put my hands up and surrender/ There will be no white flag above my door/ I'm in love and always will be

Let me be the one by Jimmy Bondoc We can work together through this test/ Or we can work through it apart/ I just need to get this off my chest/ That you will always have my heart

Over and over by Nelly feat Tim McGraw Cause its all in my head/ I think about it over and over again/ And I can’t keep picturing you with him/ And it hurts so bad, yeah

Out of reach by Gabrielle Catch myself/ From despair/ I could drown/ If I stay here/ Keeping busy everyday/ I know I will be OK

One more night by Phil Collins I’ve been sitting here so long/ Wasting time, just staring at the phone/ And I was wondering should I call you/ Then I thought maybe you’re not alone

Red Red Wine by UB40 Life is fine every time/ Thoughts of you leave my head/ I was wrong, now I find/ Just one thing makes me forget/ Red red wine

I'm not in love by 10cc I keep your picture upon the wall/ It hides a nasty stain that's lying there/ So don't you ask me to give it back/ I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me/ I'm not in love, no no.

In the end by Linkin Park I've put my trust in you/ Pushed as far as I can go/ And for all this/ There’s only one thing you should know/ I tried so hard and got so far/ But in the end It doesn’t even matter/ I had to fall and lose it all/ But in the end it doesn’t even matter

The Scientist by Coldpay Nobody said it was easy/ It’s such a shame for us to part/ Nobody said it was easy/No one ever said it would be this hard/ Aww take me back to the start

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

striptease

After one very humiliating session in taebo class, I figured something more on the exotic side wouldn't demand for so much coordination. Striptease. More specifically, aerobic striptease.

Jave Junkie was nice enough to lend me her two volumes of Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease. Strip your way to fitness! the sleeve said. Kewl!

Omigod. Carmen Electra was so HOT. Her breasts were like, whoa. And her ass was, like, whoa, too. Oh, wait, I'm straight.

Anyways, so there she was, in her librarian getup. (Snug black dress, high heels, hair up in a knot, and glasses.) I liked how she breathed onto her glasses and wiped the lenses against the butt of her dress. Or rather, how her butt moved to clear the lenses of her glasses. Whatever.

And then her menswear striptease. Hat, tie, fishnet stockings, and a man's white button-up shirt. Nice what she did with the tie, "And if you're feeling naughty, you can give your man a light slap on the leg with it!"
















And the lapdance. Oh, the lapdance. How she just straddled on that chair...oh wait, I'm straight. Sorry.

No way I can ever look that good. Me doing a striptease? Might as well call it a strip comedy.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

post #69 (hehehe)

It's 8:34 in the evening and my ever-so-considerate life partner is still in a meeting, trying to salvage what's left of his future as group head (read: vice-president, yes, even as yuppiescum he can still command respect) in a company that hasn't got its 7S's aligned. (McKinsey's strategy, structure, systems, superordinate goals, staff, skills, and shared values.)

Wow. He's a VP already. Only five years my senior, with youthful good looks (I look older...yeesh) and the bearing of an arrogant graduate from that school along Taft Avenue. (I edit his reports when asked to...now if only I can speak for him at meetings.)

I used to refuse to visit him at work. I may have had the right to stake my territory, but hell, the dirty looks the girls shot me whenever I walked into the building just got to be so unnerving. No, it wasn't that I was the ugly girlfriend to the company's chick magnet...far from it. I just didn't want to look like the insecure girlfriend who, well, was staking her territory.

Hmmm...let me enumerate some of the girls I, or rather, he, had to deal with:

The Spinster Slightly older than he was, in a more senior position (no pun intended) and a VIRGIN. Never been kissed, never had a boyfriend, never...well, the list goes on. She didn't look bad, really. She dressed up OK, her face was, well, OK. He referred to her as his other "babe" in the office, me being the first. They'd usually have lunch and coffee together, and you know, be each other's buddy at work. She was actually quite friendly to me, but female intuition told me there was a snake in the offing. Ha. She was trying to get to my good side. Didn't work.

The Bootylicious Babe This girl had what I didn't: an ass, and it was an ass that all the guys in the company ogled at. Though she worked in another floor, I had felt her smoldering eyes burning my back for months. She had the nerve to try to establish a "friendship" with him, you know, texting jokes and corny anecdotes on love and friendship, when texting was a free service from Globe, anyway. (Yeah, ok, so I secretly checked his messages. Girls, give it a try.) It may have worked, because a long time after that, her texts became, "Why are you ignoring me?"

The Neighbor Oh yeah, the neighbor who was, like, ten years younger. The little girl who blossomed into a fine young lady. The little girl who had a crush on her kuya's basketball buddy. Wow. She really hated me. At her brother's wedding, she totally ignored me but lavished sweet smiles on my dapper-in-a-barong date. ("Kuya, have some cake, o!" and "Kuya, have some wine!" and "O, Kuya, you're leaving na? So early pa!")

How to deal? With quiet dignity. Don't go into a jealous rage nor start asking stupid questions you know he'll just shrug off or deny. Save your energy for bigger things. Like another guy. Heehee.

Friday, August 05, 2005

King

News of King Fahd's death reached me a few days ago, and I realized, Gee...I lived there for years but I don't know much about the guy, nor about Saudi politics.

Here's what little I knew (up until yesterday) about the royal family: the prince and princesses number thousands, and each prince and princess has a mansion that rivals the size of Ateneo. (So much space in that desert, mind you.) The King didn't speak English, was a devout Muslim, and had 4 wives at any given time.

There is no such thing as democracy in the Kingdom. Talk about control freaks: there can only be one religion and if you're caught with anything that has to do with any religion other than Islam, you'll be thrown in jail and/or subjected to flogging. No alchol, no pork, and virtually no women's rights. Freedom of the press? The good writers are in exile in London. See? They're even more freakish than Singapore.

Thanks to Google, I found out more:

1. Despite the fact that alcohol is banned from the Kingdom, the King had a history of alchohol abuse.

2. Despite the fact that gambling is banned from the Kingdom, the King was a high roller in Monte Carlo.

3. The ruling family's power is legitimized only by an even more powerful (and conservative) religious sect, the Wahhabi, which they have to please. To give you an idea of how conservative (backward?) they are, they called the telephone "devil in a box" and moved heaven and earth to ban the technology from the kingdom. (This was in the 70s). The King's argument was that the telephone could be of use to Islam as well. Incidentally, Wahabbi=Al-Qaeda.

4. There's another religious sect that's more progressive and promotes "peaceful coexistence with nonbelievers" (Non-believers=non-Muslims) that both King Fahd and the crown prince secretly support, the Taqarub.

5. The Royal family itself is factioned. Read: conservatives vs. liberals.

6. Saudi is a poor country, actually. Despite being a top oil producer, its debt is unmanageable. And if you're the top oil producer with the US as your biggest consumer...well...Porter's five forces will show us why.

7. King Fahd was America's boy.

But one good thing I can say about the king: He was no sellout, he had the kingdom's interests always in check. GMA can learn a thing or two from him.