this is why i don't like going to the doctor

Resident Gyne: ok,history...when was the first time you had sex?
LG: "..."
RG: any kids
LG: yes, one.
RG: last time you had sex?
LG: er, is that necessary?
RG: yes
LG: "..."
RG: how often?
LG: i...i really don't count...
RG: on the average? in a week?
LG: er...ah...hmm..."...?"
RG: how many sex partners have you had?
LG: this is confidential, isn't it?
RG: yes, of course.
LG: No one else has access to my files other than you doctors, right?
RG: no one.
LG: "..."

Twenty minutes later i'm back into my pants again.

Nurse: Ma'am, please take a seat, we'll just process some paperwork.
LG: Thanks.

I take a seat by the wall. On the wall was a small corkboard. On the small corkboard, together with memos and schedules and birthday wishes for residents celebrating their birthdays that month, was my "reproductive" history.