Saturday, December 10, 2005

I don't know how I should feel, really.

Disappointed or stupid.

Disappointed because I gave so much, spent so much, risked so much...all for something I could've just as easily achieved with a sex toy.

Stupid because I believed in every little lie he said about loving me forever and ever and ever. Even stupider, because NOTHING he ever did made me feel that way, and NOTHING he said could be verifiable as fact.

I don't know who I should be angry at: myself or him. The smart person in me tells me I have only myself to blame...so cut your losses and get on with life.

Come on, folks. Find me a date.

posted by categorically imperative @ 12:10 PM 

2 Comments:

Blogger Punzi said...

If I venture some advise...

Give yourself some time before dating again. Allow your lives (you and your kid) to settle down first. The change is traumatic so allow yourself time to heal first.

Do what you must first. Go out (with friends). Drink. Be merry (christmas). Ponder first on what went wrong and forgive yourself. We're all allowed to make mistakes. But personally, don't make the same mistake twice.

Healing may take months or years. Personally, I'm not completely healed yet myself but I'm getting there.

Going into a new relationship healed is only fair to your next one. At least he will not have to carry your baggage.

So face it. It will be a cold Christmas. But you still have your kid. So be happy for each other.

Welcome to the club.

Saturday, December 10, 2005 at 4:59:00 PM GMT+8  
Blogger categorically imperative said...

i know...and i guess it doesn't help that i haven't hit rock bottom yet. i've gotten activities all lined up for the holidays, just for me and my li'l angel. i'm going to buy her that baby python she so seriously fell in love with (as in, dude, she loves snakes...gene mutation there) and train it to swallow her father while he's asleep.

Monday, December 12, 2005 at 3:08:00 PM GMT+8  

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