Thursday, October 28, 2004

blonde forever?

I feel so stupid. I'm studying for my midterms and the problems in the book are stumping me. And I'm blaming the book. Why? Because each chapter just goes on and on to define formulas, terms, practices, and other freaking finance jargon WITHOUT any examples. Worse is that each sentence is at least two and a half lines long. Don't the authors know that the secret to good writing is brevity? This is how the authors would've explained 1+1=2: The addition of another unit to the same unit will result in a balance that is expected from the pairing of such, observe that by moving one unit to the opposite of the equation, and thus changing the integer sign, the balance is maintained.

All those words that would've been more meaningful with a picture of one apple in a basket and a little girl putting another apple in it. Hellow!!!!

And the exercises at the end of each chapter? Ha!!! No answers in the appendices!!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

math in my head

When I'm asked to compute for something, say, the net price of a thousand-peso dress on sale at 50% off, I whip out my cell to use the calculator.

When I ask my four-year-old "23+1 equals?", her eyes roll slightly upward and 2 seconds later, she says, "twenny-four."

She can do math in her head...a four-year-old can do math in her head. I hope I never embarrass her.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

brownout

Brownouts aren't so bad. It gave us a chance to re-discover the joys of not having to watch a crappy telenovela or brainless ETC programs.

There are so many things to do on a kuryente-less night with a very smart and perpetually energetic 4-year-old, like:

1. play hide-and-seek.
2. amaze yourselves by not burning your fingers when you run them over the flame of a candle.
3. turn on the flashlight under your chin and scare the beejezus out the kid.
4. stare at the moon and answer the kid's questions on why it's shaped like so, why there are craters on it, if it's made of green cheese, where Mars is, where Venus is, etc.
5. color by candlelight.
6. try your best to make shadow-animals. Like a duck. Want something more difficult? Try a bird.
7. Listen to her sing all night.
8. Ask her if she already knows how to add. Dang, my kid's smart! She just wowed me with the plus-one equations she learned in Kumon.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

resume pumper

I think I'll add this to my resume: able to tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Blonde Moment

Sikat sexy star in Boy Abunda's show:

Boy Abunda: What can you say about the separation of church and state?

Joyce Jimenez: I think that's unfair, because not everyone naman is Catholic di ba? (winning smile nga dyan.)

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

A Blonde Moment

At an org room in college:

Macky: Elj, anong mga gimik ang gagawin natin next sem?

LG: Oo nga ano, kailangan na nating mag-planning. We have to brainwash.

Macky: (Taas-kilay) Ah, oo, brainwash....

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Mr. Perfect

Who wouldn't fall in love with this guy?

Graduated valedictorian from Ateneo HS, strung all top honors from home economics to math. Got into UP Manila's Intarmed program, despite achieving the highest possible SAT scores that would've easily gotten him a scholarship to any med school in the States.

Tall (6 feet, i think), athletic (plays basketball), mestizo (has an American grandfather), rich (lives in La Vista), gorgeous (models part-time.) Looks like Richard Gere. Not Richard Gere-Pretty Woman, but Richard Gere-American Gigolo.

Nice and accommodating (Hi LG! How are you na? with matching arm around the shoulder). Straight (Long-standing serious relationships with a few select women, none of which is me).

Haayyy. If given the chance, I'll never date the guy.

college blues

I'm in one of my moods again. Reliving college.

College was a blast. I have to say, I was at my prime. I may have been fat and ugly then, but hell, I had friends who didn't care how much I weighed or how many zits I'd start the week with.

I learned how to drive in college. I got my first car as a college present from my folks. I had the best clothes in college, all of them were either Benetton or Sisley or Esprit. I wore Docs to school and purple-black Air Unlimited nikes for basketball practice.

I learned to appreciate the beauty of alcohol in its entirety in college. I sorely miss the scent Bellarmine field after a rainy day.

I miss my buddies and our Antipolo trips where we'd drive back down the mountain drunk and out of our minds.

Sex wasn't so important then. Maybe because there were so many things to do.

An org was a place where you worked late nights for free, because the satisfaction over a job well done was reward enough. Money was never an issue.

The real world is so unkind.

Friday, October 08, 2004

fahrenheit

I saw Michael Moore's documentary on 9/11 last night. Kewl. The accuracy of the "fact" presented may be questionable, but it pretty much pushes the point across.

Bush waging war for money? I know that "war is big business" (as stated by Donald Sutherland's character in JFK) but I would never have thought Bush was smart enough to orchestrate such a stupid war to enrich himself. Marcos could've done that, if he had the resources. But Bush? Wow, I really underestimated him. Looks can really deceive. I thought he'd only be a few notches above Erap in the IQ department.

But then again, Erap did have a (dirty) hand in the Abu Sayaff (Sipadan) kidnappings, among other things. So maybe they're along the same range of IQ. Question is, who just moved up?

Anyways, it goes on to show that we can't really trust our leaders. Hand it to GMA. Can we really blame her? Is everything that is happening in the Philippines all of her doing? The rising oil prices? The exodus of nurses and doctors? Just what is it that she can really do?

I'm moving to Canada.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

You know you're a child of the 80s if...

from an 80s website:

You remember Don Johnson when he was "cool".
You know who shot J.R.
You remember when Michael Jackson was actually considered something of a sex symbol.
You practice getting in and out of your car through the windows.
Your first Walkman weighed 10 pounds and was the size of a brick.
You wore L.A. Gear tennis shoes.
You know the meaning of Wax on/Wax Off.
If you can "See Better" with sunglasses that have paint splattered all over the lenses.
You can feel St. Elmo's fire burnin' in you.
You need a shopping cart to carry your personal stereo with you.
You remember what Michael Jackson looked like before the surgery.
You still want to take Karate...(after you move to California).
You watch NYPD Blue thinking, "Well, they're no Crockett and Tubbs, that's for sure".
There was nothing to question about Bert n' Ernie living together.
The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.
You went out and purchased the sound track for 'Miami Vice'.
You remember the magazines of song lyrics.
If you think Hulk Hogan is the best wrestler of all time.
Two words: The Clapper.
Six words: "This is your brain on drugs."
Ferris Bueller was your idol.
If you had an entire wardrobe of Esprit clothing (or coveted one.)
Your bangs are teased perfectly to 7 inches above the rest of your hair.
Have multi-colored earrings that touch your shoulders.
Played Upwords, Boggle or Trivial Pursuit (the original) on a rainy afternoon.
You wore lace gloves with the fingers cut off, bangle bracelets up to your elbows, bright red Reebok high tops and parachute pants to a school dance.
You're still bitter that WHAM broke up.
You drink Diet Coke because Max Headroom told you to.
You still watch things on Beta tapes.
You have the tendency to turn up the collar of your polo shirts.
You never go out for a night on the town without frosted blue eyeshadow and feathered bangs.
Everything in your wardrobe is either pastel or fluorescent.
The feeling in your thumb is only now just returning after holding down the Atari joystick to control the racecar in Enduro Racer.
You still can't believe that Milli Vanilli was deceiving you all that time.
You can sing all the words to "One Night in Bangkok" by Murray Head, and now you understand that it is about chess.
You still wear a bandana tied around your leg and/or a ponytail off-center on the side of your head.
You still carry your boom box on your shoulder.
You think David Hasselhoff was awesome in Knight Rider but sucks in "Boob Watch."
A piece of folded paper and two hands could tell your fortune.
Knickers and leg warmers were cool.
You ever wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the guitar and choreographed "Dancing Queen" by yourself in your room.
You thought a Commodore 64 was the highest technology available.
You wanted to be "The Hulk" for halloween.
You want to be "Where Everybody Knows Your Name".
'A Different World' kicked butt.
You know who played Magnum P.I.
One Phrase, "The Plane, The Plane".
You can name at least three members of the Brat Pack.
Still think banana clips were a godsend.
Still wear Wet n' Wild makeup.
If your idea of hi-tech toys is still the heat-sensitive color-changing sticker on Transformers.
If you remember Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, not Die Hard.
You still wear your "Members Only" jacket.
You still have a couple of those barettes made of woven ribbons.
You remember when Pee-Wee wasn't a pervert.
You had had five pairs of socks on at any given time.
You still think Donkey Kong can beat Mario up.
If you still have your scratch-n-sniff sticker collection.
If you remember when you heard that drinking soda and eating Pop Rocks would make your stomach explode .
You still play with that CASIO SK-1 Keyboard.
You're still hoping for a New Kids on the Block reunion tour.
You still argue over who was better: Tiffany or Debbie Gibson.
Every time you hear the "OH YEAH..." song you think of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off".
You still watch tapes of Stingray, McGyver, and Airwolf .

Monday, October 04, 2004

beginner at the fairway

If golf isn't a contact sport, then why is my entire left side (including my neck) sore? Is it because it takes four hourse to finish 18 holes? So does that qualify golf as an aerobic activity?